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Pst. Hey, here, around the corner. I got that column you wanted. Yeah, it's a nice one, dopest column this side of Compton. Remember, if you get caught with this stuff, I don't know nothin', you got that?
| Prequelmania |
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What is with all these new prequel games now? Ever since word of that Star
Wars prequel came about, a whole slew (or slaw...never quite knew the right
word usage) of videogame prequels were being talked about! I mean, there
are a bunch. A few are GTA: London 1969 (technically), Tenchu 2, and
Resident Evil Nemesis. Is this some type of new videogame fad, or
something?
-Matt Elder
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Actually, Lufia II came before Lufia I, and Ys IV came between Ys II and
III. I think game developers just like an opportunity to sound all cool using
a word like "prequel".
| Nobuo should become a member of N Sync |
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Drew,
It is my position that videogames need to be taken into the mainstream
more and more as time goes on. I played 'Small of Two Pieces' by Yasunori
Mitsuda [the ending theme from Xenogears] for my sister, and she couldn't
believe it was from a game. With the absolutely incredible capabilites of
the PSX2 / Nintendo Dolphin / Dreamcast, I'm amazed that more people's eyes
are not looking into games. With some originality and these new graphics
possiblities, it is very possible that games could become as popular as
movies. I think that this new Grammy Award category will be great, because
it will show people that Nobuo Uematsu, Yasunori Mitsuda, and other great
videogame artists rival their beloved 'N' Sync and The Backstreet Boys.
-kev-san
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Yeah, one of the main reasons games haven't gone mainstream yet is because
so many people still think of them as merely games. The name "video
games" doesn't help any. Visual media forever, baby!
The only advancements in gaming the average public is aware of are those
of the graphics. Until some other aspects that have improved, in this case
music, are displayed and applauded in a forum the public is familiar with,
such as the Grammy Awards, that won't change a bit. This is a chance for
developers to show how far along games have come.
| A question. Or two. Or Three. |
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I think the video game music at the Grammy's is a great idea. I have a
question, are they going to just have a category for best song from a video
game, or are they also going to have a category for best musical score?
Wait, changed my mind, I have more than one question. Is this going to be
music from just consoles, or are they going to pull from computer games,
too? I don't play all that many computer games, so I don't know how much
music (as far as lyrical type music) they have.
-Wookie317
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Nobody really knows the full details, but I expect games to get the same
treatment as movies and television do, for regularity if nothing else. Oh,
and I'll be damned straight to Hell on the spot in utter shock if PC games
aren't included in the category.
| Eyez on Me |
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OK here is what I think on the current topics in the column:
1. Hentai. Hentai fanart is a good thing for people who like it. I
myself think it downright rules. Some people might be offended by it, but
when Thor posted the Cloud/Tifa picture a lot of people went ga-ga over it.
You should have a seperate hentai section in the fanart devoted to just
that, hentai. You could put AdultCheck on it and make money from that
instead of the banners. Everyone wins! (except the quiet, sensitive,
religious types, but they can just not go to the hentai section.)
2. Working Designs. We need more companies in the videogame industry
like Working Designs. They take their time and translate a game RIGHT and
don't have any crummy "I had a good feeling!" type lines. They
are very serious in their work and get very involved in the industry.
Still, Vic Ireland should grow up.
3. Videogame music awards. This is the WORST thing that could POSSIBLY
happen to videogame music! The WORST! All games will be like FF8, one hit
song designed to get the grammy written by Celine Dion and the rest just
boring, unharmonious background filler music. This will be BAD for people
like Nobuo Uemats and Yasunori Mitsuda since although their songs are 100
times better than "Eyes on Me" they won't win a grammy. I don't
know why not. Just like how the best dog never wins the dog show, it's
always some goofy-looking dog from tibet.
-Some person brave enough not to give me a name in his letter
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You know, what's really frightening is that Andrew Vestal and Andrew
Kaufmann had some scheme to include hentai for cash. OKay, so they weren't
really serious, but that should show you how many different ways we tried to
think of to avoid those crazy banners.
I'm sure Vic would like you to know that your comments regarding him are
the result of your being a nihilist.
And, as for those music awards, I'm more concerned with the positive
exposure than the actual music, since I think the Grammy Awards are more of a
popularity contest than an actual awards ceremony anyhow. Even though you,
and admittedly I, think "Eyes on Me" is a terrible piece of music,
many others will like it. And the Overbearing Mothers of America Association
(or whatever those people who sit around watching Disney movies frame by
frame in hopes of seeing the word "sex" or brief background nudity
call themselves) will have a harder time telling their kids that videogames
will rot their minds and make them shoot people when they've got "Eyes
on Me" stuck in their heads.
| More Grammy thoughts |
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Must be a slow news week, eh Cosner?
Grammy awards...Who gives a rats ass about a bunch of conceited rich
alcoholic drugg adicted idiots who sit around wearing twenty thousand dollar
outfits and give each other twenty dollar awards? They could melt like the
Nazi's in Raider's of the Lost Ark tomorrow and I wouldn't bat an eyelash.
As far as video games becoming more and more accepted as another
media...I've got mixed feelings. Very mixed. On one hand my flesh crawls at
the idea of more Spice Girls games...On the other I've always wanted video
games to be viewed by the masses as an actual medium for artists and such.
There's something to be said about being a nich market. Oh well. The money
will decide it in the end, as always.
Forget the pool. I'll go skinny dipping in the jacuzzi with the E3 Booth
Models.
-Ian P, who's apparently been around a few to many Nintendo products
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Every week is a slow news week in the land of Drew. I've already expressed
my agreement with you as far as the Grammy Awards are concerned, so I'll just
move on. Sure, as gaming becomes more mainstream, some naughty publishers may
take advantage of the more unwitting newcomers by slipping crap games and movie
licensed rubbish on them, such as a certain company who's name I won't name,
but will say it rhymes with Acclaim. Oh crap, I mentioned it, didn't I? But,
crappy games are around anyway, and nobody's forcing you to play them, so
it's not exactly like there's anything to lose.
Besides, as games become a more generally accepted form of entertainment,
when telling people I work for a game site I won't get those obnoxious
"Oh that is so cute in a pathetic kind of way" looks anymore. This
makes Drew happy. This makes Drew speak in third person.
| Mediocre |
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The whole Lunar release thing is quite disturbing, but I appreciate the
fact that Working Designs does wait until its games are the best they can
be before releasing them. I have only played one previous Working Designs
product, Alundra, and was very pleased over the translation, FMV movies,
and packaging of the game. I assume that Alundra could have been out sooner
had the instruction booklet been in black and white, and the disc label
been plain, etc, but I like those little details. I do think Lunar's delays
are bordering on ridiculous, and it is annoying even though I didn't
reserve it, but I will still buy it, and hopefully it will be cool.
-Fuji49
p.s. I don't think I have ever reserved/prepurchased a game in my life,
now that I think about it.
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This letter pretty much represents the general response I got from you
readers. Sure, delays are bad, but mediocrity is really bad. Not to mention
mediocre. Mediocre sounds like a flavor of pudding, doesn't it?
But not everybody's all that thrilled with Working Designs and their
business practices. Next.
| Members of the Bad Business Bureau |
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Come on... no one took Working Designs' release dates seriously in the
first place! ;)
Yes, WD translates some of the most memorable RPGs out there. True they
do it extremely well. Yea, they talk to their customers. But they also lie.
It's almost habitual, too! It doesn't take a genius to figure it out..
"Oh Sega's been telling us to change the names Umi, Hikaru and Fuu, so
the game's coming out two and a half years late.. sorry." Do you
realize what they told retailers this week? Our corporate office recieved a
call on wednesday saying "Yes, it just shipped and it will be there
tomorrow." If that's not lying, I don't know what is. Actually.. they
did send -it-. One review copy for our guys doing our company web page.
-One-.
Working Designs is a reputable company for their quality, but they lie
to their consumers (and resellers, apparently). -That- is bad PR.
-Brad Williams
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There's not really much I can add to this letter. Unless you want me to be
some big bullshitter and act like I know what I'm talking about as if I've
worked for Electronics Boutique before. In which case I would nod
sympathetically and say "Yeah, we'd always get a bunch of people in
early to stock up Working Designs' latest game, only to be given some excuse.
Darn those rascally rabbits!". Thanks to the powers of BS, I just wasted
several seconds of your life, heh heh.
| A quick conversion |
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"That's right, this pool is 3 meters deep. Is that deep enough to
dive into? Well, is it? What do you do? What do you do?"
You convert meters to cubits via multiplying it by 143, then, you
convert that to half-rods by dividing it by 459. After that, you make it
into short tons by cubing it. This number should end up as 666. Then, take
a large goat and sacrifice it to Wendy's founder, Dave Thomas. Red gas
should surround you and you should begin to fly. Fly to Tibet and stab the
Dali Laama with a rusty spoon bathed in the blood of rabid kangaroos. Fly
back to your pool and wait for a number to appear. Take that number to your
local grocery store and buy the same number packs of Kool-Aid and Jello. Throw
it all in the pool. Get a Liberace statue and put it in Elvis's funeral
suit. Sprinkle salt and tequila on it, and throw it in the pool as well.
The number in feet should then appear in your eyes and remain there for
eternity. Jump in the pool and enjoy!
-One humongous Donkey Kong made in your closet while you sleep(Doesn't
that name just scream class?)
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With simple conversion techniques like this, maybe the metrics system and
the English system can live together peacefully after all.
| A deeply philosphical question |
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q)I'm a rat in race running in the wrong direction. What should I do?
-The best little whorehouse in Texas
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Try to ram all the other racers off the track since you can't win at this point anyhow.
| Hair |
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Over the years, AV has gotten so much scruffier and unkempt. I liked him
better back when he didn't have that strange moustache and had a big
ball of greasy hair on top.
-The guni toaster that hides out in Jane
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I don't know what's up with the mustache, but Andrew insists that "the chicks dig it". Oh, and careful about the hair, that's a touchy subject. He lost his hair in a freak motorcycling accident and has had to wear that toupee over since.
Closing Comments
A few people noticed all kinds of strange little mispellings and other errors in today's column. See, I got home really late, and wrote the column through a haze of intense tiredness. Being the swell guy that he is, Andrew Kaufmann said he would check it for spelling errors so I could get some sleep. So, he opened it up in MS Word to spell check it. Not only did that completely ruin the html, it also made a few subtle changes to some words. For some reason the reply takes on a totally different meaning when "aren't" becomes "are" and "rascally" becomes "racially". Go figure.
- Drew Cosner
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